Captive animal to be released in just weeks!

In a week from now I will most likely be laying on the couch or dozing in and out of another copious sedation from my last chemotherapy infusion and my shrine of med jars. I am crusting today as usual, floating through this dose like I've got water wings on or something. We were talking the other day about how cussing harsh this whole program has been and by the time I'm done with treatment 12 I'm gonna be like one of those stunt men guys like Knievel or something, where you see the footage of them after their blowout crash and their on the stretcher covered in bandages and blood but they still lift the arm up for a token thumbs up. That's going to be me next week after my last infusion, stick a fork in me I freaking done. What a weird dream it's been, and what a damn crazy different element of reality I've been living in. I feel like I stepped away from this world's grasp for six months and I was operating on some unexplored time continuum that only people on nine different drugs get to experience and or try to comprehend. I kinda romanticize that the world was just waiting for me to finish my business and wake up to the realization that I can have it all back, like time and everything I knew was twiddling it's thumbs waiting on me like a passenger waiting on a train. In a couple weeks I'm getting back on that train and back to a realistic neurological state of thinking and reasoning. I'm getting crazy excited to leave here and head toward the sea, sun, and friends, going over plans and camp spots, contemplating boards to bring and camping equipment to get together. Where to stay, who to see, what skate parks to scope and just what the hell is gonna happen when I see that blue wavy thing once again. Good times are a comin' down the highway.

So last time I went to the infusion center my white cell count was too low to get doped, so I had to get another stimulus shot which makes my bone marrow get all happy and dance and reproduce really fast. I had a count of 700 on my scheduled chemo day when I needed at least a 1500. So.....they stabbed me in the arm and filled me full of this uncanny reproducer, which to my total disbelief and frustration costs 1,500 per dose, making the costs just for those shots over the course of this treatment about 2o grand. WTF? Let alone the chemo at about eight grand a session, thank you lord baby jesus that I was able to have health insurance for the first time in ten years just so conveniently when I had to deal with this. I get so tripped out and sad imagining people who have to try to defeat something of this nature without any family support and without any health coverage. If i didn't have health insurance I would have been kicked around like a soda can on some back alley until some janky clinic picked me up for some experimental half researched recycling experiment. Please Support the Lymphoma Leukemia Society, they make it a whole lot better for people who aren't as lucky as I've been. Anyway, after they sent me packing on my scheduled infusion day I went home and felt exactly like I do when I do get flooded with the hell. I was totally brain tripping myself into gnarly bouts of nausea and fatigue and I hadn't even been treated, it was just from the thought and the smell after being there for an hour. Crazy how powerful the mind is, it will run game on ya! The next day I went back and my white count was through the roof at 6000, no escaping the IV this time, as a matter of fact this shit was the worst day of all, it took five different tries to find a trusty vein and get me an IV that wasn't running the risk of leaking any of the Roger Rabbit like, skin melting, body disappearing acidity onto my skin. Scary ass shit, as I said before this one drug can burn a hole through muscle, tendon and to the bone in seconds. FUCK! It's all good it's just going into my BODY! So after four hours session 11 was done, it is only now that I feel like I can even start to anticipate the end of this, only two more weeks seems like an easy enough thing to comprehend and take on finally. So there it is and here I be, I'll be off groundation and free to play in about fifteen days, (ask yer mom if I can spend the night that weekend). Thanks again for listening and caring, it means the world to me. Stickman.